Bachelor of Simulated Productivity
For opening four spreadsheets immediately after hearing footsteps in the corridor.
The Academic Board has reviewed the matter and finds this distinction suitable for the appropriate recipient.
Certificate of Questionable Achievement
Faculty of Visible Corporate Effort
hereby recognizes
and confers the distinction of
Bachelor of Simulated Productivity
For opening four spreadsheets immediately after hearing footsteps in the corridor.
This is a sample preview. It has not been issued or entered into the IQQ registry.
An issued IQQ certificate verifies only that the Institute created it, not that the joke is true.